I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
