I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
