Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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