I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
