i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
