Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
