Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm both gender and math confused
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
