then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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