i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
