and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize