belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
