I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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