Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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