dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
