Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
someone get that fucking seahorse.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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