Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There r osticjed everywhere
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
