is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm bleeding and have questions
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
