chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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