My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
