why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
