Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you never un-have a 4some
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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