I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
