so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
