she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Everyone says I win the strip club
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
