If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
