FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
