How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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