That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
