NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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