I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
