He passed out mid-signature
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
