Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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