OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
