My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
