She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
