Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
