i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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