Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
