Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
