i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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