using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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