So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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