i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
