I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
