We won't sleep together?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize