he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
