i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
