Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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