Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
