If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
