Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
