We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize