I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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