I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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