Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
