i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize