Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
