Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
