Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's just like the Real World with babies
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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