Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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